Lord, I just can't......

But I say unto you, love your enemies and bless them that curse yo, do good to those that hate you, and pray for them that spitefully use you and persecute you; That you may be the children of your Father in heaven, for he maketh  the sun to rise on evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the righteousness. Mathew 5:44-45

Most of us have had someone in our lives that we have had to forgive. (or for some, not) There have been many times that I have to continuously forgive over and over.  Maybe even over silly things.

But what about those that have really done us wrong. I mean really.really done us wrong. And what if that person or persons are someone in our family?

I have a close relative in mine (Pam/not her real name), that has been going through an ongoing problem with her daughter (Kim/not her real name).for several years. They used to be quite close. Until a few years ago. Pam purchased a home and because of certain circumstances, put Kim's name on the deed with her. After that at some point, Kim met a man who was into drugs and she moved him in without her mom's permission. It was agreed though that the mortgage payment each month would be split 3 ways and for a few months that worked. However, in time, he pretty much forced Pam out of her own home because of the way he treated her and she was not going to take it.  She tried getting him out by legal means, but here she is several years later,  he is still living in her home. Consequently, during that time, Kim who was already addicted to alcohol, started using street drugs along with him and eventually their share of the mortgage payment stopped going to Pam.

But she had had to get an apartment and could not afford to pay the whole mortgage payment, so she has tried everything she could to get them both evicted so she could sell the property. To no avail. And why should they? They were living there free. At least until the mortgage company forecloses on it.

I could go on and on about that situation, but you get the picture. Pam has come to hate the boyfriend and has a name she calls him instead of his real name. I won't give it here, but it pertains to drugs. So she hates him for getting Kim, with whom she had once had a good relationship with, into the street drugs. And she hates Kim for staying with him because now the property has moved towards foreclosure which will hurt Pam's credit. 

And I get how Pam feels about the whole thing, because she is 70 years old and single. It has been her livelihood at stake and her good credit possibly going down the tube.

But in her rants and ravings to me about it all, she tells me she not only hates them but she will never forgive them for doing to her what they have done.

So, what does that situation have to do with that scripture in Mathew 5?

Pam is a born again Christian. She has been in church most of her life and delights in helping other people and serving God. So why after all this time, does he not answer her cries of help and done something to take care of this so that she doesn't lose her good credit, or worse yet, her own relationship with her daughter? She knows it is his battle. She knows he has the whole picture. She knows that he will take care of it in his own timing.

But she wants all that NOW! She has gotten tired of waiting, and has become bitter and it comes out of her every time she talks to me about it. She says she is trusting him, but then goes back to ranting about them.

If I am good at anything, it is being a good listener for people that just need to talk to someone and/or vent their problems to. I have had my own times like that, and I know it is not good to bottle things up. And if I feel I have something to say to encourage the other person, I do that.

I love Pam. And I wish God would do something. But outside of his will, neither of us can do anything. 

I had tried quoting Mathew 6:14-15 to her, which tells us to forgive so that our Father will forgive us. But if we do not forgive others, he will not forgive us.

I cannot fathom what Pam is going through. But that scripture says it all for me. I do want to forgive others, no matter their offence to me, so that I can be forgiven by my Father.

So is Pam in danger of not being forgiven? I cannot answer that question. God knows her heart. He does have the whole picture and hopefully he will make it possible for her to be able to do that. I do know that forgiveness is often a process. That is something that I have learned at different times in my life. And no matter how she feels right now, he will answer her cries. But she can't manipulate him into doing it before he is ready. And sometimes I wonder if that isn't what she tries to do. Probably without even knowing she is doing it.

And I also wonder, isn't that what some of us do at times. Try to manipulate God, even when we are in pain about something? It is something to think about.

Thanks for coming today, Friends. Have a blessed day!