But How Do We....? (part 2)

 

Yesterday, I discussed the subject of praying for ourselves and the question in some minds might be: 

Ok, but how should we do that?

Well, if you asked that question, I have some suggestions for you from another website that talks about that very thing. Read on:

It’s easy to pray to land that great job, find that perfect spouse, or even to win the lottery. However, do we pray for patience or grace or forgiveness of others, which may or may not line up with things that we want? Probably not.

Before you start ridiculing yourself about your own personal prayer requests, remember that you are not alone in this struggle. Within the pages of the Bible are countless individuals who battled with praying for themselves, and it was usually because God wanted them to pray for inner changes they needed to make first before blessings came forth.

If you struggle with praying for yourself – whether in not knowing what to pray or how to pray for yourself – may these insights give clarity into this precious time with God.

Pray in Secret

For people who really want to know how to pray for the things that matter – especially things or situations they themselves are facing – Jesus advises them to go to God away from others.

In Matthew 6:5-7, Jesus shares with His disciples that they shouldn’t pray “as hypocrites do” by going out in public and praying so others can admire them or see them as holy. For prayers that really matter to God, especially those concerning ourselves, Jesus reminds us that we shouldn’t boast to others of our prayers, whether for sympathy or for praise. We should pray in secret to God as our true prayers and intentions of the heart will be revealed to the Lord in this manner.

As the rest of verse six states, the Lord who sees how you pray in secret will reward you for this humiliation displayed before Him. He sees you for who you are inside and knows when you pray in secret to Him, it is a heartfelt prayer meant only for Him to hear and answer.

Pray with Deepness

Sometimes it is easy to pray for ourselves when we are going through a situation or challenge of some kind. When you are experiencing illness or needing a new job, you can find yourself easily lowering your head and asking for God’s help during this time.

But what God wants us to strive for most when praying for ourselves is to look deep inside and see where we need Him to help us change. It is taking a hard look at yourself and wanting to know how you can keep growing and developing as His child. It is closing your eyes in prayer and asking God for patience to deal with a difficult family member; it is dropping to your knees in prayer to ask for the ability to forgive someone when you find it impossible to do. It is taking the time to admit to God that you are struggling with something (and we are all struggling with something) and praying for His grace to fill our hearts and sooth our souls.

This deepness is utilizing prayer the way God intended, with us coming to the Lord exposed and asking Him to love us and help us when others wouldn’t (and maybe when we couldn’t help ourselves).

Pray with an Eye to the Future, on Earth and Eternally

Yes, we can pray for situations happening in our lives now, as God wants us to come to Him with whatever is on our hearts. We are even encouraged by the apostle Paul in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 to “pray without ceasing,” meaning we must always be praying for all of our needs and those of others.

However, praying for ourselves must not be just focused on handling circumstances ahead on earth, but also circumstances ahead eternally. Prayers can definitely be focused on relationships or situations happening right now in our lives, praying for future results or events to happen, but we must also pray for what is ahead in God’s eternal plan.

Praying to be vigilant in our faith as difficulties in this fallen world become more extreme or praying to be ready for when Jesus returns are meaningful prayers we can express to God that allow us to remain focused on the present, future, and eternal future. It epitomizes Paul’s verse about praying without stopping, for we should always be in a state of prayer.

Praying for ourselves can be a daunting task if we don’t typically take the time to send our prayers up to God. But realize that just as He wants to know when you ask for blessings for other people, He wants to provide the same for you. (source: Blair Parke, Bible Study Tools)

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The above is not the end of the road when it comes to prayer. There is more to learn about it. I will talk about this in tomorrows post.

In the meant time, have a blessing filled Christ centered day! And thank you for coming by.

Praying for Ourselves? (part one)

 

A thought entered my mind this morning as I was sitting on my patio enjoying the early hours and watching the birds. I pray out there a lot. Mostly every morning. But this morning I thought about that. And remembered a time when I prayed for others but never myself.  I had thought prayer for oneself was a selfish thing. But now I realize it is not. After all, our Lord and Savior prayed for himself. If it was good enough for Him, should it not be good enough for us?

And I wondered this morning, how many Christians feel the same way. I don't know but I decided to see what I could find about praying for ourselves. And here is what I found.

Should Christians Pray for Ourselves?

Christians are encouraged to pray for themselves as part of their spiritual journey. The Bible teaches that prayer is a direct line of communication with God, and it is essential for personal growth and maturity in faith. Here are some key points to consider when praying for oneself:

• Seeking God's Guidance: Praying for oneself is a way to seek God's wisdom and direction in life. It allows believers to communicate their needs and desires to God, who is always willing to help. 

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• Personal Growth: Praying for oneself can lead to personal growth and development. It helps individuals examine their lives, seek forgiveness, and fill themselves with God's Spirit, which is essential for spiritual maturity. 

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• Biblical Example: Jesus modeled self-prayer by praying for Himself in the Garden of Gethsemane, demonstrating that it is not selfish but a sign of humility and dependence on God. 

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• Continuous Communication: Prayer is not a one-time event but an ongoing relationship with God. Regularly praying for oneself is a way to maintain this relationship and communicate with God about personal matters. 

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  In summary, Christians are encouraged to pray for themselves as a way to grow in their faith and to seek God's help in their daily lives. It is a biblical practice that aligns with the teachings of the Bible and is essential for spiritual maturity and well-being.  (source: google search)
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And I agree. The answer is yes and really should not have to be asked about or wondered about in our own personal lives.

The thing is, those thoughts of it being selfish probably are coming from the enemy. Of course, he doesn't want us praying for ourselves. Talking to God is a no-no in his "book" if you will. If he can keep us from it, he certainly will. 

However, so much goes on in our lives that we need God's help to get through this life. Prayer to Him for our very lives will build us up and strengthen us. Something the devil does not want.

If you have wondered about that in your life, do not feel it is a selfish thing to do even though all that is happening around us. 

Thanks for coming by today, Friends. In tomorrows post I plan to go a bit further into this subject. I hope you will come back for that. Have a blessed day in Jesus.

Forgiveness (part 3 last post on subject)

 

My thoughts on the article on forgiveness:

I definitely agree that forgiveness is a choice we have to make. But unforgiveness is a choice that is easier. It comes down to work if we decided to forgive. Thats why we need God and His Word to give us help in that area. Most people can't do it alone. 

The Bible does want us to forgive as we have been forgiven. We have no right to hold unforgiveness for someone when we ourselves have been forgiven from Jesus who died for us

When I got ahold of that concept of not having the right to hold unforgiveness, it made a huge difference in how I was able to forgive others. Both at the time I was going through it with my mother and those times since.

Forgiveness does bring freedom to us. 

Bitterness is like a cancer to our soul. The longer we allow it to fester in us the worse it becomes. It can overshadow any joy we feel.

We sometimes don't understand why some people act in ways that makes everyone around them miserable. Perhaps because they are miserable themselves. I know a person like this. A lady which blames everyone for everything. Sometimes it is best to understand that though and not become too close to that kind of person. I learned this the hard way. If she treats her own family in a way that makes them feel wronged, why should I not suspect she would turn on me as well. I have learned it better to have no contact with her but instead pray God will work in her to understand what she is doing. Not only to them but to herself. 

It is good to take steps to communicate to that person. But sometimes this just does not work with some people. She was hurt at a very young age, and I believe that she was never able to resolve that. Somehow it still affects her years later and even today.  In this case, praying for the person and leaving the outcome to God is the best solution.

I agree with setting boundaries. Forgiveness does not mean letting the person continue to be allowed to go on hurting you. It's not all about them. It affects you as well, as you try to work it out using scripture to get to the place where you can forgive them.

When we forgive a person -even if we don't get the results we want from them, we are still blessed with those things as explained in this article. God wants it for us. Even if it is a hard thing to do. But it brings blessing and not curses.

In conclusion, when faced with a situation dealing with unforgiveness the best thing is to pray, pray, pray for that person. And leave them with God if you cannot get a positive solution. 

I hope these pages were helpful to you. We all struggle with this topic at some point in our lives. And maybe more than once. You have heard the saying "Let go and let God." I think that sometimes that is the best possible advice we can take. Second to what God's Word says about it. 

Thanks for coming by today, Friends. Have a wonderful, blessed

day!

Forgiveness Sets Us Free (part 3)

 

Unhealthy Relationship	Healthy Relationship
Communication	One-sided, dismissive	Open, respectful dialogue
Trust	Broken, reluctant	Built gradually, reliably
Respect	Lacking for needs/feelings	Honoring of mutual dignity

As seen above, forgiveness sets the stage for positive transformation, but boundaries may be needed to guard progress.

Work Toward Reconciliation

The ultimate goal of extending and receiving forgiveness is full reconciliation of the broken relationship. Scripture teaches forgiveness brings freedom from bitterness (Hebrews 12:15) and opens the door for restored fellowship (Luke 15:11-32).

Working toward genuine reconciliation requires time, transparency and sacrifice from both parties, including (Reference):

Honest confession of past wrong

Sincere apology and request for pardon

Commitment to make personal changes needed

Effort to rebuild trust and intimacy slowly

Data from a 2021 survey on reconciliation showed 79% of respondents said restored relationships were “extremely” or “very” meaningful after forgiveness was chosen over grudges (Reference). Esteemed Christian mediator Ken Sande affirms reconciliation requires courage and wisdom, but brings deep blessings (Reference).

Conclusion

Forgiveness is a journey that takes time, courage, and active cooperation with God’s Spirit. As you pray, study Scripture, release anger, and act in love, you’ll experience the freedom of restored relationships and growth in Christlike character.

Remember that forgiveness is a choice – one that sets you free from bitterness and opens the door to healing and joy. May God bless you as you pursue forgiveness according to His Word.

In summary, the Bible provides a framework for forgiveness based on God’s mercy toward us. We forgive by examining our hearts, releasing negativity, communicating humbly with offenders, and working toward reconciliation. While challenging, choosing forgiveness brings freedom and restoration.

This concludes this particular article on forgiveness, but there are others if you would like to check them out at christianwebsite.net.

In the meantime, I will give you my own comments on this article in Mondays post. Please come back for that. 

Thanks for coming by today, Friends. Have a blessed day.

Forgiveness is a Choice (part 2)

   

Years ago, I held a lot of unforgiveness towards my mother. I won't go into all of that. I think I have earlier in this blog told about it and it wasn't until my own daughter had become a young adult and around that time God had worked through some circumstances that I learned that forgiveness is a choice. I laid down that which had been stolen from me (a good relationship with my mother) to just love and appreciate her in the way that God wanted me to.

I am so glad that it happened the way it did because only a few short years later she went on to be with Jesus and someday I will be with her there too. Those last years were the best that I had ever had with her.

So how do we forgive those that have deeply hurt us?

The greatest part of my experience was to understand that I had no right to hold anything against my mother. 

She probably didn't even realize she was hurting not only myself but others in the family. Why? Because she was diagnosed with some serious mental issues. 

And I had no right to hold anything against her for that and the most important reason was because JESUS FORGAVE Me of all my sin!

I am providing some real good information from another website to help you. The advice is good because it is biblical. 

Please read on:

Forgiveness is never easy, especially when someone has hurt you deeply. You may be wrestling with feelings of anger, betrayal, and resentment. While these emotions are normal, holding on to bitterness can be destructive to your emotional and spiritual well-being

The Bible has much to say about the importance of forgiveness and provides practical ways to let go of negativity and restore relationships. If you’re wondering how to forgive someone biblically, this comprehensive guide will walk you through the scriptural basis and practical steps.

Key steps include prayerfully examining your heart, releasing anger and desire for revenge, communicating with humility, and restoring the relationship when possible.

Examine Biblical Teachings on Forgiveness

Forgiveness Is a Choice

Forgiveness is not an emotion, but rather a conscious choice and act of the will. Although emotions like anger, sadness or betrayal are natural responses when wronged, the Bible calls believers to choose forgiveness instead of holding on to bitterness (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Forgiveness is empowered by God’s grace, as we remember how much we have been forgiven by Him (Matthew 18:21-35). It’s an act of obedience, as Scripture repeatedly commands it (Colossians 3:13)

Choosing to forgive someone who hurt you deeply is extremely difficult in our own strength. But God promises to provide the grace and power to forgive others, just as He has forgiven us (2 Corinthians 12:9). As we turn to Him, He can change our hearts and free us from bitterness.

Forgive as You Have Been Forgiven

The Bible reminds us that we have all sinned and fallen short of God’s standards (Romans 3:23). Yet while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). God took the initiative to forgive us freely, even though we didn’t deserve it.

He expects His followers to forgive others in the same way – freely and fully, without requiring the other person to earn it.

Forgiveness may be one of the most difficult commands in Scripture, but God enables us by His grace and example. As 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

We can draw strength from God’s promise to keep forgiving us when we confess our sins to Him.

Forgiveness Brings Freedom

Unforgiveness acts like a poison inside our hearts, affecting our emotions and relationships. But letting go of bitterness through forgiveness brings tremendous freedom. Forgiveness is as much about helping ourselves as the other person.

Studies show that cultivating a forgiving heart benefits our mental and physical health (source). It reduces anxiety, depression and stress. People who forgive have healthier and more meaningful relationships. Most importantly, forgiveness frees us to move forward in life with joy and peace.

As author Lewis Smedes wrote, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” This liberating power of forgiveness is a key reason why God commands it so strongly throughout the Bible.

Reflect on Your Heart

Ask God to Search Your Heart

When someone has hurt us, it’s natural to harbor resentment and bitterness. However, the Bible calls us to forgive others just as God has forgiven us (Colossians 3:13). An important step is asking God to search our hearts for any hidden bitterness or unresolved anger.

We can pray, “Lord, please reveal any bitterness in my heart toward this person. Help me to see them through your eyes of compassion.” As God brings issues to mind, confess them and ask Him to cleanse your heart of all malice (1 John 1:9).

Releasing resentment frees us to follow Jesus’ command to “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).

Let Go of Bitterness

Bitterness can seem like a protection mechanism – if we hold on to anger, we won’t be hurt again. But in reality, bitterness harms us even more than the original offense. It steals joy, poisons relationships, and hinders our fellowship with God.

God’s Word urges us to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” (Ephesians 4:31). We release bitterness by making a decision to forgive – even if emotions lag behind.

We can pray, “Lord, by faith I release this bitterness and choose to forgive. Please replace these hurtful emotions with your love and peace.”

Replacing bitter thoughts with thankful ones is also powerful. When resentment surfaces, we can mentally list blessings we’re grateful for – countering bitterness with thanksgiving

Have Empathy for the Offender

Considering what may have motivated the person who hurt you can develop understanding and compassion. The Bible says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Thinking about what pain or insecurity they may feel can inspire empathy and create space for forgiveness to grow.

We might pray, “Lord, please help me see this situation from their perspective. Soften my heart with your compassion for them.” As we receive God’s mercy, we can extend it to others, releasing both parties from the offense’s grip.

Take Practical Steps

Communicate Your Decision to Forgive

Once you have made the internal decision to forgive someone who has wronged you, it is important to communicate that decision to them (Matthew 18:15). This opens the door to reconciliation and restoration of the relationship. However, it must be done sensibly and with wisdom:

• Be clear about what you are forgiving them for exactly.
• Assure them you have let go of bitterness and resentment.

• Set healthy boundaries if trust needs to be rebuilt.
• Offer to meet in person if appropriate to demonstrate your sincerity.

According to clinical psychologist Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, author of How Can I Forgive You? : The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To, openly declaring your forgiveness to the offender helps reinforce it in your own heart and mind (Reference).

Set Boundaries if Needed

Forgiving someone does not necessarily mean the relationship goes back to the way it was before, at least not right away. Trust and intimacy may need to be rebuilt slowly over time if major breaches have occurred (Reference).

As such, setting wise boundaries can be essential to the process of restoring the relationship without leaving yourself vulnerable to further hurts. Some key things to keep in mind:

• State clearly what behaviors you will no longer tolerate.

• Agree together on what the new “rules” will be going forward.
• Calmly enforce the boundaries if violations occur.
• Gradually expand trust as consistency is demonstrated.

According to marriage counselors Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, authors of the popular book Boundaries, biblical forgiveness does not require anyone to make themselves unsafe or expose themselves recklessly to abuse or manipulation (Reference).

Wise boundaries enable testing and growth of the relationship over time. (source: christianwebsite.com)

I am going to finish with this in tomorrows blog as it is getting quite long. In the meantime, remember that God is good all the time. And all the time, God is good. 

Be blessed. Stay blessed and thanks for coming by today!