Thirteen years ago today, I lost my father to cancer. He had been the main person in my life for many years and remained such even though I married and had children. It had been the saddest ever time for me, even though I went through some hard years as I grew into my adulthood.
Hospice had come out those last few weeks to give their support for him and us. A hospital bed had been brought out and we had moved him to a bright and sunny spare room in his home that he had added on some time in years earlier. It was really a laundry room but it also had windows all around where he could look out over the back of his property, and down into the woods at the end of it, watching the birds and just having a private world of his own to be secure in God's beauty of it.
Early in November of that year, I had cleaned it good, putting Christmas decorations up and setting the little Christmas tree on his table, with pictures of he and my mother for him to enjoy. I wasn't sure how long he had as his doctor would not give us a time frame. But I just knew that he may not make it until Christmas. And he didn't.
The holidays that year were the hardest I had ever had to celebrate. And have never been the same since. But I am not alone. Many many people go through a grieving time through them every year. For some, it is old hat, as some might say. Or something that goes on and on every year, while others may experience it new for the first time this year. However it is for each individual, we do know that it can be the worst time of the year for those of us that have lost someone we dearly loved.
If we have never lost someone ourselves, it is sometimes hard to understand someone that has. A few years earlier, I had a cousin that had been divorced from her husband. He had suddenly left her and it may be hard to believe but she had no idea that he wasn't happy in the marriage and wanted out. It came as a big surprise to her. One that left her alone and grieving her loss. The holidays had always been a big part of their lives. She loved all that they entailed and so to have to deal with her life after the fact was a hard thing especially during those seasons. I didn't understand her grief. We had grown up together and had always been close, but this was one part of her that I could not get ahold of. She was always talking about him, always crying. Always trying to win him back. Which wasn't to be. He wasn't going back to her.
I didn't understand until I went through my own with my dad. While my situation with grief was different and not as vocal as hers, I did understand the pain of knowing my dad was not coming back. God had taken him home. And I was thankful for that, but it did not make it easy to know that he was gone from this life.
Over these years though, it has gotten easier. Once the initial sadness went away, (which took a long time) it hasn't been so hard. I was able to understand that I could give thanks through it. Thankful for the fact that he was a good father while so many aren't. Thankful that he raised me in a Christian home, even with so many problems that he faced all those years. Thankful that he led me to the Lord when I was still young. Thankful for his Christian example and witness to his family, friends and even those he didn't know. So many things to be thankful for. Even though he was gone.
God had given me a father that I am proud of. And the best news is that, even though he has passed, I really did not lose him. I know exactly where he is. He had a love for his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that even though I know he was not perfect and he had flaws like all of the rest of us, his love for the Lord really surpasses most any other Christian that I know. And someday soon, I will join him and my mother in heaven, where we will never be separated again.
And that is something I am thankful to God for because even though the sadness is still there, God is good. All the time. All the time, God is good. So if you have not lost someone to death, let those that have, cry on your shoulders talk to you about their grief. Love on them as Jesus would do. And if you have lost someone to death, know that God hears you and he is there to comfort you through his Holy Spirit. And in time, hopefully for most people things will get just a bit easier.
There are things you can also do to get you through this holiday season There are websites you can go to for help. I have provided a couple in this blog for you below. Above all, don't get to a critical stage in your grief. Get whatever help you need. God bless you during this time as you are important to him.
Sources for help: Christmas Grief :: Meier Clinicsm. Coping with Grief at Christmas | CBN.com
What Grieving People Wish You Knew at Christmas | Desiring God
Scripture for comfort: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. The Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort that we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corthianians 1:3-4
May God bless your day!
No comments:
Post a Comment