Grief (conclusion)

It is a known fact, that people grieve in different ways and for different lengths of time. There are what is known as the five stages of it, as introduced to us in 1969 by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. She called them the "five stages of grief."  They were based on her own studies of the feelings of terminally ill patients.  However, they can be for those that have experienced other changes in lives, such as death or break-ups of the people we love.

The reactions that we have when we have lost something or someone is normal. Not everyone that goes through these stages, goes through them all. And it is ok. Our grieving is very personal for each of us. And it is a natural part of lives while we are on this earth.

The five stages are as follows:

1.  Denial "This can't be happening to me."
2.  Anger "Why is this happening? Who is to blame?"
3. Bargaining "Make this not happen and in return, I will___."
4. Depression "I can't do anything."
5. Acceptance "I am at peace with what happened."

In my own experience when my dad passed, I skipped the bargaining. I knew he was getting so worn out and was ready to go on to be with my mother again and with Jesus. He had made peace with that and I knew that he was only holding on because as he told the doctor in my presence, he was ready to go on but he did not want to leave me. We had been close over all the years after my birth. In some way, I knew that bargaining with God was out. He (God) has a time for everything and it was dad's time to go. And so everyone's grief is different and there is none set in stone. During our grieving time, there will be ups and downs. We may be ok one day and then something may trigger a memory that may make us sad again. Grief can affect us even years later. 

There are both emotional and physical signs of grief and tips on what we can do to get through these points in our lives if you follow this link you can find more information:  Coping with Grief and Loss: Dealing with the Grieving Process and Learning to Heal

However, the point I want to finish with in this series of my blog is this:

Grief can cause a person to just want to give up when they have lost someone they love. They cannot get past it and it walks over every part of their lives with no relief. It can cause alcohol addiction. And as with my son's mother-in-law, it led to heavy drug addiction. After her 16-year old's sons sudden death, for many years after she could not get a handle on her life and it remained with her until her death a couple of years ago. She could never let him go in her heart and accept that he was gone.

For many, it has taken their life by suicide. What a sad and tragic way to live and die. Never being able to get past that kind of grief. But there is help if we can look for it.

Through our faith. Through our families and friends. Through our support groups. Through websites where we can learn about these parts of life. 

If you are going through or know someone that is going through a time of grieving, get help or help others get help if possible. Don't let it fester to the point where you or they may end up living their lives under medication or committing suicide. There is help. Please go to the above site to learn more about what to do in these situations. 

Thanks for coming by again Friends. I know that the last few days have probably been a bit depressing but with the holidays coming up, I just wanted to give us a heads up. To be thinking and praying for those that we know that might be struggling in these areas. However, now that I am done with that, I want to move on to something more fun for a day or two. So come back tomorrow to see what it is. God bless all of you for another day!