Q & A Is it Wrong to Gossip About Our Pastor And His Family?

Gossip. It is okay to gossip in the church. Right?

Wrong.

Gossip. It is okay to gossip about the pastor and his family. Right"

Wrong.

The fact is, gossip is wrong. In church. Out of Church. In home or out of home. It does not matter. It is wrong wherever. But if it is so wrong, why do we do it?

To make us feel good about ourselves. To build our selves up. To bring attention to ourselves. 

Ourselves, ourselves, ourselves. That is what the basis is for participating in it. 

When we find that someone has been talking about us in a negative context, we can be hurt. Especially if we are low in our own self-confidence.

And I think most of us know and understand this. But what can gossip do to a pastor and his family? 

A few years ago, a group of people got it going in a church that we were a part of. The situation was that the pastor's daughter had gotten pregnant without being married. To make matters worse, the daughter was white and the boyfriend was black.

The pastor had been there for a few years and God had been greatly blessing not only his but his wife's ministry there. The people that started the gossip called for his resignation. Thankfully, their group was small and the pastor wrote an open letter to the congregation that stated in part that if they wanted him to leave, he would do so. Let me tell you that my family had come to know he and his family well, and he and his wife were some of most humble people I had ever met And furthermore, because they not only had services there, they had a school. The congration itself was and still is very large. People being around him working in either the school or the church, they knew what he was like and what he is still like. This pastor was always the same. No matter who he was with or if he is in the church, school, bible study, he was one of those people that fit the statement "What you see is what you get." Always the same, the way he loves and treats people. Not that I hold him up on a pedastal. He is human just like you and me. But he is one that truly God has called to his service.

The matter was put forth in a vote by members and it was decided that he would stay. Sadly, the group of people that tried to oust him were trying to get him out so they could bring their own liberal agenda in. And they were the ones that left in the end..

Should he have left anyway? The criteria for those holding an office or any other place in the church is defined in several passages of the bible. Briefly, here is what some of them say:

1. Christ called some to be apostles, prophets, evangelists, teachers...Roman 4:11
2. ...must be above reproach, husband of one wife, sober, self-controlled, able to teach,,, manage his own family well. 1 Timothy 3:2-12
3. ,,, direct the affairs of the church well 1 Timothy 5:17
4. Paying attention to their selves and their flock. Acts 2):28
5. Must fear God, be trustworthy, hate bribes...Exodus 18:21

Notice #2. He must be able to manage his family well. Was our pastor friend doing that when his daughter became pregnant? So far as I know, the answer is yes. I know those two kids were not left trying to figure things out for themselves. And I know that grandma and grandpa loved their granddaughter and the little girl was often with them when her parents had to work. They made it work. But it was because the pastor and his wife knew how to manage their family.

Pastor's jobs and the jobs of their wives in the church is not easy. They are human just as all of the rest of us. They can make mistakes. They may need their own counsel when the chips are down and they get discouraged. They do not need our judgment and gossip. They do not want it.

But, what if something you hear is true and it is causing the pastor or an elder to sin? In that case, 1 Timothy 5:17-20 gives us guidelines on what to do.

Do not listen to the complaints against him, unless there are two or three witnesses. If he has sinned, he should be rebuked in front of the whole church so that no one else will follow his example.

If we cannot resolve an issue that way for ourselves and we tend to want to keep the gossip up, we might as well get out and go to another church. The thing is, gossip lives in all churches and it is up to us to turn a deaf ear to it and not participate.

We should remember, however, that pastors are not God. Yes,they make mistakes and sin. And as we have seen in the media, some have done things that we find despicable especially in pastors. The thing is, satan is after anyone that has a calling of God on their lives. If he can oust godly people out of the pulpits or other offices in the church, he will. The church can crumble and he will no doubt be laughing. I know because, in a different church, that happened. And it was not pretty.

Instead of gossiping, instead of complaining, instead of lying about those that have accepted God's calling on their lives to shepherd us towards God, we should be on our knees praying for them. Because that is what they most need. And if they are really called of God, that is what they most want from us


Thanks for stopping in today. Tomorrow's question:. Leap of Faith? What does that mean?