What is in a Day? How Can Families Survive the Daliy Chaos (part 3)

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from the faith. Proverbs 22:6

In trying to train up our children in God's ways is not really a one size fits all. There are so many different scenarios in today's world. Divorced parents. Single parents. Foster or Adoptive parents. Children that live with other members of their families because their own parents could not raise them properly. Or maybe their parents are not even alive anymore.

Maybe you are like my extended family. The mother is married to a man that suffers from Asbergers. Their son has it as well. Their youngest child, now a teenager and born a girl, is transgendering.  The mother herself has an eye disease.

What do these kinds of people do when so many problems attack them in the forefront? If there is one thing I know about it, it is this. Their lives are harder than mine. They go through so much more. And yet, God has allowed for these things to come into their lives and he has the answers for them.

However, as we seek God in our particular situation, he does help us. It is not easy. But it is necessary in today's world to do the best we can to teach our children those things that he want us too. 

It is no secret that the family life can and does take so much out of us on a day to day basis. There always seems to be some problem that needs to be worked out. And in having children, we try to do the things in a family that benefits our relationship to them. Hopefully, church is a part of that. Teaching them about God and letting them see him in us and how we handle things.  Then there are activities we do with them. Fun things, and taking them places that teach them about the world.

And yet, in the middle of all that, is the chaos that interrupts our enjoyment of life. Parents being under pressure with all sorts of problems. It tumbles out on the kids if we are not careful to make them insecure sometimes as they watch us fighting. And they act out.

So what can we do to live in a more peaceable household? Or at least try to?

We know that God ordained the family. He created marriage to raise children in a proper environment. So they can grow and develop and later repeat it in their own lives by the examples that we set.

The very basic need in a child's life is to see that his parents love each other. He needs to have that comfort that all is well with them. Even if it is not exactly. Children should not be exposed to their problems. But rather those problems should be taken on quietly without their kids hearing about them.

Money problems? Kids do not need to know about them. Don't misunderstand, however. If Mary wants something that the parents cannot afford, she should be told that they will have to save for it. Perhaps letting her do some chores to save for it. And that will give her a feeling of accomplishment. But hearing her parents fight about money gives her world insecurity.

Children should see that not only do parents love each other but they respect each other. And they should be taught to respect not only mom and dad, but also siblings and outside authority. My husband and I did not teach our kids respect for their siblings, and today as adults they still can fight and not accept each other for who they are. As we know, respect is not something that is prevalent in many people today. Respect for others property is something that children and adults alike have become a thing of the past. Children running wild in grocery stores and mothers not controlling them.

Children talking back to their parents. You didn't see that in the years I grew up. And how sad. Kids need to be taught to honor their parents. And parents need to show their kids in a loving way how to deal with the things of everyday life.

There is so much more to be said on this subject and I will be back tomorrow for more. I hope you will join me. But let me say this to you if you have failed at being the kind of parents you should have been or should be, take heart. I have been there, done that. Parenting and raising a family in this world is not easy. And God will forgive us when we fail if we ask. In the meantime, it behooves us to follow his principals because after all, it was he that set marriage and families up in the first place.

Thanks for coming by to let me share some of the things I have learned in my life about families. Believe me, some of it has come too late to be of help to the way my kids are raising their own. But if I can pass anything on to someone that is reading my blog about this and other subjects, it is well worth my time. Have wonderfully blessed day folks!

.