Back in the days that we were raising our four kids, life was a busy time as you can imagine. Both of us came from different backgrounds, my husband and I. I from a Christian home, he from a non-Christian home albeit they were good people. As I have looked back on it, I had been too young to get married and start a family of our own. That being said, I wouldn't trade any of my kids. I love all four of them. However, I wish that I had been mature enough to handle all the things that I didn't exactly sign up for, but got them anyway, once I said, "I do."Raising the kids during those years had not been easy. I hadn't had proper education, especially as a Christian, to know how to do it right. but then in those early years, I wasn't living like a Christian either. For about thirteen years it was that way while during that time my husband had a serious drinking problem. At that point though, I got serious with the Lord and he made a promise to me, that he was going to take away the drinking problem. True to his word, two years passed, and that is exactly what he did. And grateful as I was and still am for that, I didn't really become too much better at being a Christian mother to my kids.
I didn't know how. Because it wasn't modeled for me much when I was growing up. And I will add that, I didn't even know I should be. After fifteen years of living and just struggling to get from one day to the next, non-Christian patterns were set.
However, we did get into church and tried to teach our kids about God the best we could. But today and looking back, it hadn't been enough. Because at home, we weren't really modeling what a Christian home should be as much as we should have. And sadly, the way things were still effects my kids today.
Out of the four, just two of them acknowledge God and his work in their lives. Another one who as growing up had wanted to get into some kind of ministry has seemingly turned away from not only God but us as well. And the fourth doesn't have much to do with us either although he will talk to us at times.
I know where we went wrong, believe me. I can't speak for my husband, but I know myself what was wrong.
I missed it.
I had married too young. and had my kids too young. I had no experience in how to be a good Christian mom. There were better ways that I could have learned. But I didn't really get that until so many years later when it was really too late. Oh, I had done the best I could, at the time. It just wasn't enough.
Maybe in reading this, you think I am feeling sorry for myself today. I assure you that feeling sorry for myself is not the point of today's blog.
The point of today's blog is that while I had missed it all those years the kids were growing up, I now understand that I have been redeemed and God does not hold any of that against me because I have asked for his forgiveness. And I know he has a plan for my life and for the lives of my kids.
They are all adults and I have only a small amount of influence in the lives of the two, and none with the other two. But I know my God is a faithful God and I pray for him to restore what satan has stolen from us in our ignorance during those years.
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be given to you. Mathew 6:33
If there is anything I seek after the most, it is that all four of my kids will love and serve God with all their hearts first and second that our whole family would be restored. The wounds that have been opened up by the neglect of our own sin, would be healed. But I can't do it alone. God must do it and I believe that he will. In his own time. In his own way.
I am not the only one in life that faces these kinds of things and I sure do know that. Many others do and a lot of them face even worse things then I have. Maybe some of you as readers of this blog have your own "pile of miseries" that you face each and every day. I empathize. But I also know that you can have the same hope that I do. Through Jesus Christ, if you will let him.
Therefore, my heart is glad and my glory rejoicest,; my flesh rests in hope. Psalm 16:9.
What a promise! All is not lost. God understands my weaknesses from back in the day. And he has forgiven those years when I did not know better. I know now that I just need to give him the time and space to work things out because that is his doing, not mine. I have already messed up. I do not want to do any more damage by racing ahead of him even if I want things done now. Instead, I get to rest in him and know that "all things work together for the good of those that love God." Romans 8:28.I encourage you. If you have messed things up in your life, turn to the One that can restore them. Because he will. In his time. I know this because well....he has done it in other areas of my life. Yes, he is still working on this one. But it will happen. And that is my hope in God.
January 19,2019 Promise: The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Psalm 9:9
Thanks for dropping by today Friends. Have a blessed day!
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